Thursday, January 22, 2009

Never End


Is anyone tired of Portal-inspired games about some faceless dude stuck in a sterile laboratory environment full of death traps yet? I know I'm not! Here's another one, comin' atcha! Never End is the ungainly title of this new platform/puzzler from Chinese developer Zlong Games. It may remind you of the Shift series in some not-so-subtle ways, but this game earns its keep with some great atmospheric touches and clever level design.

You control a smoothly animated silhouette of a man who is trapped in the middle of a giant maze full of spikes and shifting blocks. Move left and right with the [arrow keys], and jump with [up]. Now, you wouldn't be a very good lab rat if you didn't have some kind of experimental physics-warping super-power, would you? In this case, it's the ability to alter gravity by rotating the entire room 90 degrees at a time. Do this with the [Z] and [X] keys (sorry QWERTZ users, Asia is unsympathetic to your plight). Your penultimate goal is to find a way to one of the four exits on the outskirts of the overhead map. Your ultimate goal, if you want to wring maximum value from the game, is to escape through all four of those exits in turn, locate all the hidden clues, and uncover the greater secret behind the mysterious structure that confines you.

Most of the puzzles revolve (ha!) around the rotation technique. You'll nearly always be sharing a room with at least one heavy, oddly-shaped block, which must be manipulated using your gravity-altering powers to clear a path for you. Thus, Never End plays much like one of those abstract block-shifting puzzles, except here the blocks can smoosh you flat if you're not paying attention. It's like a big, complicated, deadly game of Tetris.

In a welcome twist (ha ha!) for an online puzzle game (although Shift 3 dabbled with this idea as well), all the rooms are physically connected. A map in the upper right side of your screen keeps track of which areas you've visited, and whenever you exit a room, you'll get a glimpse of the over-arching blueprint of the maze. Many puzzles have multiple exits, some of which can be impossible to reach unless you enter the room from the correct direction. This kind of multi-layered puzzle design makes Never End feel like a complete, intentional experience, rather than a mere list of puzzles that just stops when the designers run out of ideas.

Analysis: First, let's talk about the controls. They're not great. The jumping scheme follows in the footsteps of classic puzzle-heavy platform games like Prince of Persia and Flashback, where every jump had to be tackled in a specific way; but the main character's movement here is too fiddly to be comfortable. In the beginning I spent a lot of time conking my head on the bottom of blocks, when I meant to be pulling myself up onto them. The key is to start a few steps away and run into every jump, even when common sense would tell you to simply stand under the ledge and jump straight up. The standing jump is almost useless in this game. You generally need some momentum.




Once you learn how to physically get around, though, this game really becomes rewarding. The puzzles require a lot of careful thought and creativity to solve, even though there is usually just one solution. You don't really have a lot of room to experiment, since rotating the room all willy-nilly will usually get you squashed or dump you onto a bed of spikes, so you have to consider each move before you make it.

The flip (oh ho ho!) side of the deliberate puzzle design is the slow pacing. It would be nice just to rip through a room like Usain Bolt* once in a while, but unless you've basically memorized all the necessary moves, you just can't. That, plus the occasional backtracking, plus the gawky controls, means your gratification may be somewhat delayed. It's like when your blind date shows up wearing braces, but then turns out to be a trained masseuse. Which totally happened to me the other day. Back in 'Nam, don'cha know.

Anyhoooooo, what really sold me on Never End, and transitioned me through that awkward phase of the relationship, was the sound design. Half the time, it's nothing but windy groaning noises and mechanical creaks, as though you're stuck inside a vast metal structure of some kind. Which, in case you haven't been paying attention, you are. The sounds do more to describe your environment than the spartan, monochromatic graphics do. When the music finally cuts in, it plays more to your total isolation than to any sort of comfort, and it doesn't stay long before the mournful howling floods back in. There does seem to be a little hiccup where the sound clip repeats, but it doesn't hurt the overall effect too much. I also want to acknowledge the nice, solid whump the giant blocks make when they fall, accompanied by plumes of rising dust. Those suckers look heavy.

It's probably best to ignore the zany cartoons that open and close the adventure. They seem to have been crafted by a different, more light-hearted creative team. They looked at this lonely, nihilistic game and said "This is too much of a downer. We're hitting the main guy with a truck, and then he falls down a manhole. We're basing the sound effects on Looney Tunes. Deal with it."

Before we wrap this up, indulge me a moment. I suppose it's inevitable, when a game is as widely played and loved as Portal, that nothing bearing the slightest resemblance to it can exist without conjuring up references to Valve's little meisterwerk. Nowadays, it seems like you can't make a game featuring talking computers, laboratories, death traps, anonymous protagonists, physics, or humor without some totally cutting-edge wag letting us know that "the cake is a lie" as fast as his pudgy fingers can type it. That's fine, but let's just briefly remember that Valve didn't actually invent any of that stuff. Homicidal computers go back at least to HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey; death traps to James Bond movies and countless comic book super-villains; anonymous heroes to the beginning of time; physics to Sir Isaac Newton; and humor to the day I finally worked up the courage to ask my best friend to the junior prom and she said "No." Oh how we laughed. Moreover, I think it's safe to say that Portal would not exist if not for the gloriously geeky 1997 math/horror film Cube, which really set the standard for this sort of thing. In fact, Never End bears more than a passing resemblance to Cube, what with the giant shifting geometric underground building and all, so from now on, let's keep the Portal comparisons to a minimum.

Oh wait. Turns out there's a big fat obvious Portal reference in it after all. Sigh, never mind. Play Never End.



Saturday, January 17, 2009

The Boss Swap


"I hate my boss" it’s like a universal fact isn’t it.
It's like someone saying that the earth is round or the sun rises from the east.

I know nobody who likes his boss; why go far I don’t think even my boss likes his boss.

Although, my hatred for my boss took a dramatic change this Thursday.

Now I have 2 close friends in my office, one of them is in my department, I secretly call him "2X" because of the speed of his speech, now since 2X is in my department he is under the same boss as I am and the other friend, "The Robot" that guy feels nothing, no hunger, no cold, no heat.

"Robot" is in another department under another boss.

Now, this Thursday Me, 2X and Robot had got the tickets for the movie "Chandni Chowk to China" which was supposed to start at 6 in the evening, a comfortable time for all 3 of us since the office gets over by 4.

Everything on that day was just like any other day,
- My Boss was disappointed at me.
- I cared a damn.
- And 2X was at his maximum speed about everything.

Now my boss had left early from the office that day, so at 3:30 M5 came into my office.
(M5 is Robot’s boss, name explained later)

Now M5 comes and asks me to prepare and exhaustive report about the company sales over the past 6 months.

“There goes my movie” I thought to myself.
I asked Robot and 2X to proceed, hoping that I would be done by 6 and would meet them directly at the theatre.

But M5 had different plans, he made me sit till 7:30 in the office, making me change the excel file again and again.
And finally at 7:30 he released me saying
“Rehne do, mai khud hi karlunga”
He must have really done something very good in his previous life, or else I would have had a Gun in my hand.

And that how I decided to name him M5
“Made Me Miss My Movie”.

Anyways, Robot and 2X saw the movie and gave the review that that it was totally crap

“Totally Crap??? Try M5, you’ll know what’s totally crap” I thought.

So ever since Thursday I have this new found respect for my boss and I thanked God that M5 wasn’t my boss, I feel sorry for Robot though.

So, the whole experience wasn’t bad at all, it made me realize that you boss may not be good but he is not the worst, so be thankful and I didn’t have to watch CC2C.
Life is not bad and I hope Robot gets a new boss.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Reponsibility...

Responsibility... I don't know if I understand the term completely or not, I mean I think I am responsible but then most of the people don't. (Although this is not the only topic where others differ from me). For me, responsibility is more of a term which calls for itself, as in I am sure if the need arises, I'll priortize what to be done, how it's to be done and shall act accordingly but then if there is no need for it, why do it??

Alright, let's take a situation now. I am an extremely forgetful person, forgetful to the extent that I have a note on my cupboard reminding me to drink water, clean my room etc. let's assume there is another guy called 'Pillow' (it's right in front of me, which is why) so now Mr. Pillow remembers everything and does everything on time. So would you call Mr. Pillow responsible and me non-responsible. I wouldn't, not because pillows aren't alive but because I know I forget which is why I put a note as a reminder, now isn't that responsible.

Second issue, I purchase what I like without considering if it's worth it. Most people, sorry all the people also categorize this as being irreponsible, and since everybody's opinion is the same I assume they are right, but my question is if I work and earn enough money to do all my duties (pay my bills, send money home etc) and I still have money to spare, why can't I buy something that'll make me happy, why should I settle for less when I can afford the better one if not the best!!!Nopes, everyone wants me to save waiting for a situation to come to use that money!! What if that situation never comes, what if I can arrange money at that time if I don't have it.

You know, I know exactly what my problem is, it is that I don't see a problem in the way I interpret things. God help me, I don't think anyone else can.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Happens..



His colleague was typing something furiously on to his keyboard, but he was casually seated staring at the monitor and wondering what to do.

Typed in an address and checked his Orkut scraps for the 12th time in the past 30 minutes, no scraps. Colleague still typing on the keyboard
“Dude, what are you doing?” he asked his colleague

“105 dead in Mumbai man, I hate these militants”

“There are militants in Mumbai?”

“You don’t know? They have been there since yesterday night, didn’t check the news?”

“I don’t check the news, I don’t care as long as it’s not related to me and it’s never related to me”

“Still, it’s your country. You should know. You don’t have any relatives in Mumbai or maybe friends?”

“Nopes, am cool”

“How can you be cool? So many of your country’s people have died, so many army men, police force. How can you be cool?”

“Ok, tell me something, you’ve been regularly getting your updates about this from the internet and television right? How many lives has it saved? My point is reading this or getting regular updates of it won’t make any difference. You are here in a foreign country. Those who have to die will die. Reading about it will just spoil your mood; I would rather watch some cool videos on YouTube”

“No yaar, see you can always tell your friends or relatives in India so that then can get cautious”

“All my relatives are like you, they get updated”

“Your friends, do they get updated?”

“ Naaah, everybody is cool. None of them are in Mumbai so how does it matter. Yeah if there is something in Goa, lemme know my girlfriend stays there; she is not into news either maybe I could let her know.”

“Oh good, one more terrorist killed”

“You carry on dude, I am gonna go get a cup of coffee”

After the coffee was finished he glanced at his watch which displayed 5:30 pm. he picked his phone and called India. No Answer. He messaged instead

“Hey Sweetie, why no answer? Enjoying your birthday huh? Anyways buzz me when free.. Love you”

He came back to his seat. His colleague still glued to the computer.

“Dude, not going home?”

“I’ll go. You carry on. Buh Bye”

“Bye, take care. Oh and Good Luck for Mumbai Shootout”

The colleague smiled “Bye”

Oh his way back he tried the India number again, still no answer.
Just when he was about to unlock his door his phone started ringing, the screen displayed “Jaan Home”

“Heyy, whazzzup! Where have you…… Hello??”

“Hi”

“Hey dude! How are you? Where’s your sis?”

“She…. She is in the hospital”

“What?? How? Why? Kya hua? I talked to her this morning, tab she was fine”

“She had gone to Mumbai with her friends to celebrate her birthday, there were some terrorists attack there, so there was a stampede, she is very serious man”

“Oh Shit!! How’s Aunty? What do the doctors say?”

“They’re not saying anything; it was very difficult to get her in many casualties man. If only we knew, she left this morning after she talked to you, it was an instant plan”

“Damn!! You be with aunty man. I’ll call you back!”

He entered his house. Dropped himself on the bed and after half an hour he held the remote and put on NDTV listening to the news.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Good Day.. Bad Day

“You are stupid.”

“Why me, sir? I don’t decide what features go into what phone, its Nokia who decides”

“Then Nokia is stupid”

“Maybe, but then still your N76 cannot be equipped with GPS, Unless of course

……….”

The line gets disconnected

That’s how my day started, a customer shouting on top of his voice because Nokia decides not to put GPS in N76.

Now for those who aren’t aware, GPS is a system which tells you your position and guides you to any address or place you desire and ever since my company made me responsible to explain customers how to use it… it turns out that all of a sudden every customer who owns a GPS phone has forgotten all the roads… there are customers who come up to me and say

“My GPS not working… How I go office?”

Saaley, aise bol raha hai jaise bachpan se GPS ke sahaare hi zinda hai “Don’t worry Sir, I’ll get it checked”

The call happened at 8:30 in the morning and I had decided that it was going to be a bad day…

And then as if to strengthen my belief, my cell phone rings and it’s a unknown number which is displayed

“Hello”

“Hello, Is that Mr. Ashok Rahul?”

“Yes it is”

“Hello, I am calling from ***** courier, we have a package for you from ***** Bank”

Oh F***! They traced me down “Okay”

“So? Where and when should I deliver it?”

I answered the question, and was totally screwed in my mind… I had some amount to pay to a bank, before I left India… Oh God… well, the day is bad!!

Soon it was lunch break…. I reached home and the Tiffin service had already

delivered out lunch. I opened the Tiffin Prawn Curry, Rice and Pickle… Well, not everything in the day is bad!

After the lunch and some lazy TV watching, it was time to get to work again and as I entered the office, one of my colleagues informs me

“Hey Rahul, there is package for you”

I know… it’s the stupid package from the even more stupid bank… woooaah well...

Its not…

It turns out that it’s a box of chocolates...

“Who left it here?” I enquired

Nobody knew, but all my colleagues were staring at the box…

I opened it and distributed it after keeping two of them in my pocket, when one my colleagues points out... “Oye, there is a card in it”

It was a tiny small card which saidHI, JUST WANTED TO SAY VERY MANY THANKS FOR YOUR KIND HELP.

YOU’RE A STAR ….. DEBORAH




So, it was from a customer… but which one, I had no clue… so the day is not bad at all… turning out to be a good, day

Aaj se mai kasam khaata hun, sab customers ki achhi seva karunga… taaki sab mujhse khush ho… phir jab mere paas bahut saari chocolates ho jaayengi… to mai cards aur chocolates ki dukaan kholunga, un paison se mai ek poultry farm khareedunga… poultry farm mai kaai murgiyaan

TRRRING!! TRRRING!! TRRRING!!

That was my office extension which interrupted my thoughts… I answered andanother colleague informed me that he has collected a DHL courier for me…

Kya yaar! Saara mood kharaab kar diya!!

I avoided collecting the package till the end of my job hours and finally a friend got it for me.. with a wry smile I said “Thanks buddy”

I started opening the packet while thinking Hey Bhagwaan kyun? Kyun? Kyun? Kyun?

Yaaahoooooooooooo!!!

It was Rakhi sent to me by my Rakhi Sister in India… but somehow she had decided to send it via the bank…

Kasam Se… itni pyaari behan aur kissi ki nahi hogi!!

So the customer who gave chocolates made up for the customer who shouted and the bank was never an issue at all….

“Well…” I smiled at myself “…nothing bad in the day at all”

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Kissa ek Sorry ka!

India won an Olympics gold... and as Mr. Bachchan rightly puts on his blog "..nothing can top this news..".
A colleague of mine had come up to me in the morning and told me the news
"
Oye.. India ko gold mil gaya!"
"Sachhi?"

I asked and then confirmed myself on the internet if the news was true and no sooner was it confirmed that I changed my Orkut profile picture to the Olympics logo and the profile name as "Rahul..India got its 1st Olympics gold" and then I got a scrap on Orkut from one of my friends in Chandigarh

"Saade, Chandigarh da munda hai" and that was it I just went up to almost every colleague of mine and asked
"Oye, where are you from in India?"

"Bla Bla Bla"

"Well, I am from Chandigarh and so is the olympic gold winner for India"
And
walk out of the scene before they could reply...

It was probably the first time that I was happy about the fact that there is no one except me in the office who is from Chandigarh and even as I type I can't wait to see their expressions on their faces again... although am sure I will be getting fitting replies for my 'flaunts'


Oh but then the Olympics gold was not why I started to type... its just another bad habit of mine to get carried away and forget the original content

It was an incident that happened to me and one of my friends while we were in a bus,

Now it so happens that we both started discussing the topic of one of our commons friend's love affair, I was supporting the male and she was siding the female involved in the affair. It was something about Guys not expressing their love to girls as frequently as girls do. Now we both sat, debating and justifying our parts, and we had been doing that for almost 10 minutes now… and then all of a sudden…………

The uncle sitting in the front row turned back and said

"Do one thing
…ok?"
And he stopped. I had to ask him to continue using my eyes.. so my expression told him "Go On.."

He obeyed "Solve the problem... But not in the bus ok?"

I nodded as
he went on "Everybody is listening, so solve it in private ok?"
I wondered why he is using "ok" in every sentence

He did not stop "So... Don't solve it in the bus ok?"

I said "Sorry Uncle" and although I tried my best to look interested, but I was bored listening to "OK?" so I started thinking what would be going on in my friends mind and as if reading my mind "Uncle" shifted his eyes from me to her….

I did not; I was just looking at him
My friend probably did not give him "Oh I am interested" looks coz he looked at me again and then turned and faced away like he was sitting.

It was my friends turn to get angry now "Not his father's bus" she said. I displayed a gesture to her using my hands asking her to cool down

"Its not like we were shouting" she said again. She was right, we were not shouting, it was not even loud, as a matter of fact the volume was lower than what we usually talk at But then the "Uncle" did get disturbed and in turn had disturbed my friend.

All said and done, we got out of the bus and then she says loudly
"Had he said to me all those things I would have asked him to mind his own business"

"He might be under some kind of tension, give him the benefit of doubt"
I said
"Why take it out on us?" s
he asked
"Ok lets leave it,
Ho gaya na khatam? Chodo ab"

We reached my house where my two other friends supported her by saying that I shouldn't have apologized
"Ek sorry se kya farak pad gaya yaar.." I said

I don't know if I was wrong or right, but then this is the way I am, and this is how I would like to be forever!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

New Mission

I realize its been long since I have composed a post, but then it’s the shortage of time and matter I would hold responsible for this, and yes of course the shortage of a private computer has also been responsible to a certain extent, but then it’s a vow I have made to myself that has prevented me to get a laptop, I have vowed that if ever I own a laptop its gonna be an APPLE!!

With Apple releasing Mac Book Air (world’s thinnest laptop) the determination has kind of grown more strong, not more that 2 weeks back I called the Apple Center in Bahrain

Apple: Good Morning, Apple Customer Care.

Me: Hi, my name is Rahul and I am just curious that have you guys brought the Mac Book Air to Bahrain?

Apple: Yes sir, sure we do have it.

Me: Okay cool, and how much do you sell it for?

Apple: Eight hundred and sixteen Dinars sir.

Me: Pardon me, Eight hundred and Sixty?

Apple: Sixteen sir, ONE SIX.

Me: (damn, 44 Dinars less but still can’t buy it) Ok Thank you very much.

CUT!

Oh and according to the latest exchange rates available to me 816 Dinars would be somewhere around Rs 89760/-. Laptop toh khareed lunga lekin kapde tak bechne padenge.

Anyways coming back to the email, these days have got into a new thing to check over the internet except my Orkut Scrapbook and Gmail Inbox, that Amitji’s Blog at http://blogs.bigadda.com.

Its so wonderful to read it, it seems as if he is talking to you telling you everything what happened to him from the time he got up till he went to bed, stuff like, “….on my way back dropped into Ajay-Kajol’s place…” or “Ram Gopal Verma sends me an SMS that “Sarkar, people are saying Tashan is as bad as Aag, if Sholay achieved the benchmark of the most successful film, atleast I have achieved the benchmark of the biggest flop with Aag”

And all of a sudden after reading his blogs for a few days, felt like I should have an entry too… if Amitji can find time to do it, why cant I?

Ab now that I had the time and the office waala computer to do it, the only thing that was left out was the matter, which one of my Filipino friends called Grace gave me, now Grace, I know her coz she works in a shop very close to my place and me and D (my flatmate) often visited the shop initially to buy stuff, now to meet her. So yesterday when we went to meet her she said that she was about to close the shop and that if we could just walk her to her flat,

Duniya ke sabse velley bandey to hum hai hi, Chalo!!\

So as we were walking back to Grace’s flat there was a huge traffic jam and we had to get into one straight line so as to squeeze through the little space left on the sides of the roads by the vehicles, D was leading, Grace and then me, so I just happened to notice one of the car drivers staring at Grace, and then even the next one looked at her, so on…

We passed an Arab guy, he looked

An Arab guy again, he looked

An Indian, he looked

A Filipino, he looked too

Two Indians on the front seat and one on the back, all three looked

An Arab again, he looked

A Filipino girl, I looked.

And that’s when I realized ki kya unity hai yaar duniya bhar ke mardon mai!! Awesome!

But then thought about Grace, how would she be feeling when so many people are looking at her, how conscious does she have to be all the time, unlike me or D, jo ki bindaas ghoom saktey hai, and why only Grace, I am sure that Filipino girl in the car I looked at D must have looked at her too… Yucks its so gross!! I mean never thought of it that way,,, not like it harms them or something but I would feel very odd if all the people I pass through or all the people who pass through me stare at me.

But then on a second thought, what can I do about it, except type this all in a blog or an email and send it to my friends, or stop staring at girls myself, I mean ok if I look at her by chance, but then turn your eyes away, yeah am gonna do that, I am not gonna stare at ladies from now on, not that I mean I am gonna stare at gents… No!!! but then maybe it does not make a difference but that’s the best I can do. Yesterday, I made a promise to myself, full respect to ladies, not only in words but also in the acts.

Grace ka apartment aa gaya aur woh chali gayi. Now me and D started coming back home, and I told him about my whole conscious thing, the whole MISSION STOP STARING!... when D says “abbe wod chod tu right mai dekh jaldi”

We both stared.

Damn!! I broke my promise. I know its gonna be really really hard!!! But atleast there will be a genuine effort!

Aaaaaammmm… baaki kuch nahi. And I am gonna end my post like Amitji usually does in his blog

Love and lots more,

Rahul